Another one from my drafts queue!
You know, we walk around with this image of ourselves in the world by which I mean we walk around with this idea of how the world around us perceives us. I have realized in the last few years that except for the very well adjusted among us, there is usually a very large gap in between our perception and how others perceive us and our actions.
Recently, it was something that came to my attention again as I was talking to someone about work.
The conversation boiled down to while I am very nice, while I do a very good job, I apparently project that I don’t suffer stupidity from people in the form of bullshit. On one level it bothered me a great deal, I don’t want to be the turd in the punch but in another way, I don’t want to be a doormat either.
I’ve done the things I do for a very long time and I try not to have the big ego that is characteristic of a lot of people in my field. I just don’t see much point in doing anything other than making life as painless as possible when it comes to work. A job is a JOB, you are getting paid to perform various tasks to the best of your ability and I take great pride in my work but not to the point where I feel it’s worth getting into a fight with someone over.
Sometimes, people can confuse that with not caring about your work and that’s simply not the case at all but in my business you are usually catering to the whims of other people or creating solutions that conform to their sensibilities. Even if they are wrong, you can do your best to give a good argument why they are wrong but you aren’t doing yourself any favors by being obstinate.
In relationships, I think I’m likely very similar. I really believe a good relationship should be about lifting your partner up as they also support you. That’s an earmark of the best relationships but I have seen quite a few that are built around one person’s insecurity and I would rather not be a party to a situation like that.
I’ve been very, very lucky but it is true that in my personal life as in my work life I have a low level of tolerance for bullshit. So, when I was talking about the relationship thing it was a Eureka moment when I realized I cut things off at the legs in situations where it didn’t pass muster. Maybe i am the bad breaker upper from Seinfeld.
I always thought to myself that the one thing I would hate to be is to be some women’s story. Every woman has them, stories about the old boyfriends... ladies know exactly what it is I am talking about. It’s the things they share with their girlfriends and with other people down the road. I didn’t ever want to be someone’s bad story and I fervently hope I haven’t been.
Then again too I realize that you can’t stay friends often afterwards because someone inevitably walks away hurt. In a perfect world that wouldn’t be the case but the world we live in is never perfect.
You know what I realized the other day? It occurred to me, that in many of my relationships I was the one who did the breaking up.I stopped there.
I was surprised when I came to the conclusion. In amaze me. When I look back on those past relationships, I never think of myself as someone in the drivers seat, but apparently I was...
You know, we walk around with this image of ourselves in the world by which I mean we walk around with this idea of how the world around us perceives us. I have realized in the last few years that except for the very well adjusted among us, there is usually a very large gap in between our perception and how others perceive us and our actions.
Recently, it was something that came to my attention again as I was talking to someone about work.
The conversation boiled down to while I am very nice, while I do a very good job, I apparently project that I don’t suffer stupidity from people in the form of bullshit. On one level it bothered me a great deal, I don’t want to be the turd in the punch but in another way, I don’t want to be a doormat either.
I’ve done the things I do for a very long time and I try not to have the big ego that is characteristic of a lot of people in my field. I just don’t see much point in doing anything other than making life as painless as possible when it comes to work. A job is a JOB, you are getting paid to perform various tasks to the best of your ability and I take great pride in my work but not to the point where I feel it’s worth getting into a fight with someone over.
Sometimes, people can confuse that with not caring about your work and that’s simply not the case at all but in my business you are usually catering to the whims of other people or creating solutions that conform to their sensibilities. Even if they are wrong, you can do your best to give a good argument why they are wrong but you aren’t doing yourself any favors by being obstinate.
In relationships, I think I’m likely very similar. I really believe a good relationship should be about lifting your partner up as they also support you. That’s an earmark of the best relationships but I have seen quite a few that are built around one person’s insecurity and I would rather not be a party to a situation like that.
I’ve been very, very lucky but it is true that in my personal life as in my work life I have a low level of tolerance for bullshit. So, when I was talking about the relationship thing it was a Eureka moment when I realized I cut things off at the legs in situations where it didn’t pass muster. Maybe i am the bad breaker upper from Seinfeld.
I always thought to myself that the one thing I would hate to be is to be some women’s story. Every woman has them, stories about the old boyfriends... ladies know exactly what it is I am talking about. It’s the things they share with their girlfriends and with other people down the road. I didn’t ever want to be someone’s bad story and I fervently hope I haven’t been.
Then again too I realize that you can’t stay friends often afterwards because someone inevitably walks away hurt. In a perfect world that wouldn’t be the case but the world we live in is never perfect.
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